[part of a response to readings for field studies on cultural integration]
A menudo, quisiera que no sea estadounidense, es decir, representativa del país con tan influencía aquí en Bolivia. No creo que yo vaya a poder lograr un nivel de integración muy profundo aquí en Bolivia, y ese me duele mucho, pero, creo que es la verdad. Mi papá aquí me ha puesto el nombre ‘la gringita’ con mucho cariñoso, por su puesto, pero todavía, es un recuerdo cada día de como el me ve, en primer lugar, siempre conectada a mi nacionalidad ... Veo mi cultura en las tiendas, en la televisión, en la ropa. Mi pelo y mis ojos son bien diferentes que la mayoría de las bolivianas, pero ademas, son cosas que reconocen y que representan mucho, entonces, no tengo diferencias neutrales.
Often, I wish I weren't American, or, representative of a country with so much influence here in Bolivia. I don't think I'll be able to have a very deep level of integration here in Bolivia, and this hurts a lot, but I think it's the truth. My host dad has given me the nickname, "la gringita," with much affection, of course, but all the same, it is a daily reminder of how he sees me, primarily as always connected to my nationality. I see my culture in the stores, on the television, in the clothes. My skin and my eyes are definitely different than the majority of Bolivians, but moreover, are things that represent a lot, i.e. I don't have neutral differences.
[2006. i love being american; i would never change my nationality. what is often frustrating and disheartening while abroad is that, with so many people, that fact of my nationality imposes a whole slew of stereotypes that take a lot of work to counter, let alone undo. a lot of what this entry in 2003 was coming out of was how much of an adjustment for me from my experience in france, where integration was, more or less, possible. in bolivia, as i was beginning to learn then, full integration is just not possible, mainly because my and other gringoes' physical appearance immediately affects bolivians' reception of us. no matter how good my spanish is, no matter how much time i've spent here, i am seen and treated first and foremost as a gringa. in short, integration is possible, but as a gringo/a, only to a degree.]
A menudo, quisiera que no sea estadounidense, es decir, representativa del país con tan influencía aquí en Bolivia. No creo que yo vaya a poder lograr un nivel de integración muy profundo aquí en Bolivia, y ese me duele mucho, pero, creo que es la verdad. Mi papá aquí me ha puesto el nombre ‘la gringita’ con mucho cariñoso, por su puesto, pero todavía, es un recuerdo cada día de como el me ve, en primer lugar, siempre conectada a mi nacionalidad ... Veo mi cultura en las tiendas, en la televisión, en la ropa. Mi pelo y mis ojos son bien diferentes que la mayoría de las bolivianas, pero ademas, son cosas que reconocen y que representan mucho, entonces, no tengo diferencias neutrales.
Often, I wish I weren't American, or, representative of a country with so much influence here in Bolivia. I don't think I'll be able to have a very deep level of integration here in Bolivia, and this hurts a lot, but I think it's the truth. My host dad has given me the nickname, "la gringita," with much affection, of course, but all the same, it is a daily reminder of how he sees me, primarily as always connected to my nationality. I see my culture in the stores, on the television, in the clothes. My skin and my eyes are definitely different than the majority of Bolivians, but moreover, are things that represent a lot, i.e. I don't have neutral differences.
[2006. i love being american; i would never change my nationality. what is often frustrating and disheartening while abroad is that, with so many people, that fact of my nationality imposes a whole slew of stereotypes that take a lot of work to counter, let alone undo. a lot of what this entry in 2003 was coming out of was how much of an adjustment for me from my experience in france, where integration was, more or less, possible. in bolivia, as i was beginning to learn then, full integration is just not possible, mainly because my and other gringoes' physical appearance immediately affects bolivians' reception of us. no matter how good my spanish is, no matter how much time i've spent here, i am seen and treated first and foremost as a gringa. in short, integration is possible, but as a gringo/a, only to a degree.]
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